I love curry. Even since I decided to go into meatless diet few years back, the only dish I miss is the curry chicken. It is really not the chicken that I missed but the thick curry gravy. It reminds me of my grandmother. Curry chicken is her secret weapon to unleashed her love for her children and grandchildren. Every one loves it and I think she felt love through it.
Maybe it is her unconditional love that I missed and I have projected it into curry. I heard a friend talking about how grand children received the most unconditional love from grandparents as they are the ones whom allow the child to be a child.
No wonder I have constant craving of curry, is this the constant craving for unconditional love? Possibly. I will always go out of the way for a bowl of nice, Ah ma style curry. Many times alone I can take a bus to a vegetarian restaurant with the curry dish with that same scent. This indulgence is so much that one day I envision myself diving into a giant bowl of curry soup.
Another friend told me about someone whom is so fanatic about spaghetti that she got a giant plate of spaghetti made on her 90th birthday. Then she swam in it. Immediately I thought of doing a dip into a pool of curry at some later birthday. The nice part is that no one will want to eat the curry then, I will have it all for myself….. my precious. Ooops my indulgences is seemingly slipping into an addiction. Too much of the good stuff may not be good even if it is unconditional love.
Tai Chi 和和
A knowing of duality and the balance in life just flows through me. Tai chi is about duality and the balance of the 2 extremes. As in life when one is engulf by the energy of huge sadness, the opposite energy which is huge happiness will flow through to compensate and bring one back to a balance state of being. Energy is never about time or duration, it is about the quantity of it.
2 examples came into mind. One that is laden with sad energy through life may at deathbed be awaken with extreme happiness because one is going to be released. One that is laden with happy energy through life may at deathbed awaken with extreme sadness because of one’s addiction to the good life. Duality is a function of life that brings all life back to a balance state. Equilibrium felt like the state of Zen. If all experiences of life be it pleasant or unpleasant to one is to be experienced truly then it is a conscious journey.
I don’t know why this knowing suddenly came through me this moment. But it certainly brings a sense of peace and grounding to me.
A sudden pain that strikes inside my head. There is just no way I could ignore it or pretend that it is not there. The intensity of it demystified any illusion I had at that moment. The power of pain shine truth through any self illusion. It’s a sign that it is something one have to focus on at that moment. Automatically both my hands cover my forehead instinctively. I didn’t ask of them to do it but they did it anyway with a mind of their own.
This is the OMG (Oh My God) points where our body try to soothes itself of the pain it is experiencing. Relieving the pain is of utmost importance. It is only when the the pain is gone and we are at a state of balance can we start sensing into the root of that pain. The pain is the signal to indicate that something has bring our system out of balance. It is of utmost importances to trace down to the root cause to resolve it. Because unresolved root cause will manifest bigger and create a bigger signal and eventually bring us to a state where balance may become almost impossible.
Hence OMG is our friendly forces which we usually meet in pain.
Baptism Of Fire
Inspired by the Temple of Carnelian – Entering the fierce belly of Sekhmet.
Upon entering the temple there is no return. Inside the temple there are no ground or ceiling it is just a vast space in all direction of infinite distance. There is no way for one to stay still in one location for a second, every moment raging fireball is flying in all direction blazing anything in it’s path to ashes. On the wall of perpetuity there is a gigantic engrave mural of Sekhmet.
Blessed with my wings of speed, godly endurance and abilities I flew straight up the temple ceiling escaping from Sekhmet giant mural. No fireball have the speed to even touch me. I flew and flew and flew for the longest of time but there is just no meeting of the ceiling or anything else. I stop and the next moment i realised Sekhmet’s giant mural appear on the wall in front of me. Then hundreds of fireball catches up with me.
I dodge them easily and flew all the way left again racing away from the Sekhmet’s giant mural. Again i flew and flew and flew for even longer a time. There is end to this direction. The moment i stop for a breather, Sekhmet’s giant mural appear on the wall in front of me again. Then hundreds of fireball catches up with me again.
I dodge them easily and flew all the way down again racing away from the Sekhmet’s giant mural. Again i flew and flew and flew for even longer a time. There is end to this direction. The moment i stop for a breather, Sekhmet’s giant mural appear on the wall in front of me again. Then hundreds of fireball catches up with me again.
I dodge them easily and flew all the way right again racing away from the Sekhmet’s giant mural. Again i flew and flew and flew for even longer a time. There is end to this direction. The moment i stop for a breather, Sekhmet’s giant mural appear on the wall in front of me again. I am so tired and sick of struggling to escape and evading to find my way out. I shout at Sekhmet’s giant mural, “What do you want?” The next moment Sekhmet came to live from the giant mural and reply “WHAT DO YOU WANT?”
I realised the struggling to escape is my way of evading the challenges I am facing. I see thousands of fireball heading towards me in all direction at this moment. I have decided to take them on, I braced my courage and hold my grounds.
The blazing explosion of Sekhmet’s thousand of fireball created a sound so loud that I cant hear a thing, created a light so bright that I cant see a thing, created the fire so hot that I cant feel a thing.
The next moment I found myself at a peaceful and beautiful grassland with the most soothing sunshine gracing on life. The Baptism of fire created a new found peace from my new found courage.
Red Or Blue Pill
The Matrix is a movie that really flip my mind inside out. I was so attracted to understand the show that I watched so many times. It is about the world that humans are living in are but only a program matrix that link their mind to it. Their real body is being enslaved by machines as power source. A person living in the matrix called Neo got contacted by a group with supernatural abilities. He was totally intrigue by them. At one point the leader of the group Morpheus explain to him that he is in a dream world and offered him an opportunity to see the real world.
“You take the blue pill, the story ends. You wake up in your bed and believe whatever you want to believe. You take the red pill, you stay in wonderland, and I show you how deep the rabbit hole goes.“―Morpheus, to Neo
-quoted from Matrix Wiki
Many a times I have a strange feeling that the world we live in felt like a dream world. Sometimes awhile in my dreams it seems so real.
Even during my waking state it occur to me that I am operating from a different parts at different situation and time. Different parts (conscious/ unconscious) taking over the driver seat or sharing the driver seat operating my interaction and experience with the external world.
My teacher that teaches inner work, I kind of envision her as Morpheus handing me the blue and red pills to pick my intention.
1. To take in air into the lungs and expel it. Physiological process
2. Be alive ; remains living.
-as quoted from google.
Breathing is the basis of life for us. Breathing can be such an automated process that it can run at our background so unknowingly so naturally that it have become a significantly insignificant process.
Many a times when I try to consciously breathe. I realised that it takes huge effort to maintain my attention and focus on it. Such mundane but significant process that powers on to allow my life experience to unfold to whichever direction my observer are lead to. Without breathe there is no life, without life there is no experiencing. Magic is the only word that I can come up with to send my warmest regards to my breathe that power me on from birth.
Experiencing life can be such a breath taking journey that many a times it halted my breathe when I am frozen or stuck. When that happens my life is in peril of cessation. No wonder I felt that I have died through a stuck phase and felt reborn when a breakthrough came. Being frozen or stuck stops my breathe so much that life cannot continue. And most likely just before fully crossing the door of lifelessness magic happens to bring me a breakthrough. And so I have a touch and go from lifelessness. That I think is call reborn. Many a times in life there are chances of reborn to allow us the magic of experiencing a different path within our same body.
Breakthrough = Reborn :O
So Beautiful a sight.
The grass holding dearly a dew.
Holding as if life depends on it.
Without the dew, there is no bending.
without the dew, life still goes on.
Inspired by the act of a blade of grass situated at upper seletar reservoir.
The shiny reflection of the morning sun from the water dew held by a blade of grass. That dew is shining with the reflection of the morning sun. It’s seems so precious as if it is the essence of life. That blade of grass seems to be holding that dew dearly as if it’s life depends on it. The grass bend to the weight of it’s precious dew. Hanging on for it’s precious dew. It is not easy but it seems so necessary.
The next moment the dew slide off the grass and the grass suddenly bounce up naturally. The grass then realised that the dew is an unnecessary baggage but a necessary lesson.
As in life we hold on to many precious dew that we deem necessary to life. But after losing it or broken by it then we realised the lesson to learn the truth about life. Our life.
The act to hold on to our dew is our way of control. So the lesson we learn is that we have no control.
Breadth Of Compassion
I got to know that I am a breech baby at birth not long ago. First thought was that this is cool especially when my mum had me in an easy breech delivery. In the Chinese saying it is called lotus birth. The word lotus had me thinking about the bodhisattva GuanYin. I had quite an affiliation with her, since young my parents have place me as an adopted child with her. It is a taoist practice.
Well I was thinking about Guanyin and started googling about her story. In one story about how her 1000 arms came about attracted my attention.
Guanyin and the Thousand Arms
One Buddhist legend from the Complete Tale of Guanyin and the Southern Seas (Chinese: 南海觀音全撰; pinyin: Nánhǎi Guānyīn Quánzhuàn) presents Guanyin as vowing to never rest until she had freed all sentient beings from the samsara or reincarnation. Despite strenuous effort, she realised that there were still many unhappy beings yet to be saved. After struggling to comprehend the needs of so many, her head split into eleven pieces. The buddha Amitabha, upon seeing her plight, gave her eleven heads to help her hear the cries of those who are suffering. Upon hearing these cries and comprehending them, Avalokitesvara attempted to reach out to all those who needed aid, but found that her two arms shattered into pieces. Once more, Amitabha came to her aid and appointed her a thousand arms to let her reach out to those in need. Many Himalayan versions of the tale include eight arms with which Avalokitesvara skillfully upholds the Dharma, each possessing its own particular implement, while more Chinese-specific versions give varying accounts of this number.
In China, it is said that fishermen used to pray to her to ensure safe voyages. The titles Guanyin of the Southern Ocean (南海觀音) and “Guanyin (of/on) the Island” stem from this tradition.
-quoted from wikipedia
Her story touches me and I felt that her compassion is beyond the breadth of my comprehension. So much so that I felt her immense love and magnitude of compassion that encompasses far and wide towards all living beings. My vision of her in her loving kindness shinning her holy light of 1000 arms reaching all beings. And all beings so enchanted by her compassion, all stand in awe as time stop for that minute.