Scenario:
AA: Hey you could have done it this way.
Me: [self talk] Ouch AA is really an asshole. [mask self] ok sure 🙂
Reflection:
I notice that my interaction with AA is bothering me. I was apparently upset with her comment to me, feeling that she is trying to put me down. Not wanting to feel the humiliation so I put up a cool mask pretending that I am ok. And I thought that all is well. But no I am not well there are rage in me. As I allow myself a space to contact my rage, I realised that unconsciously I was throwing energetic thought attacks at AA. My rage part says “Who does AA think she is trying to teach me? She is a terrible person. I look down on her.” I am surprise to notice my rageful attack due to a simple comment. A part of me knows that her comment is legit. I know that it is something about me or a part of me that is hurt.
Taking a deep breathe, I stay and deepen into this. I notice that part of me look down on AA and hate her. I then realise that I had a mirror transference on her. My self hate part of me that look down on myself is transferred on her. I am shock by how behind my awareness that this is happening. Then a bigger shocker I started realising that there are many poor folks that I unconsciously transferred on them as well. This is not healthy for them and me. It is ethical of me to bring back all my attacks.
I am very sorry. Please forgive me. May you be safe and protected from internal demon and external attack.
Realisation:
Every day we are all transfering and projecting our thoughts on each other. Its an unconscious action but the mental attack is real. The energy will really impact ourself and others even when it is not spoken.
Housekeeping of our thoughts is ethical and healthy for you and me.