I precious

050216 J SIW 3year journey 1


Did not know how long have i wore this armour.

But it certainly is a heavy armour.

I try to remove it but it is not easy. Some joint have rusted and cannot easily come undone.

I struggled and slowly it came out.

I felt lighter and my breath became easier.

The wind on my skin is a strange sensation.

I feel cold and vulnerable. Many times i try to hide behind the pieces of that armour feeling scare.

Then the sun rises and whisper to me.

Suddenly I am ready to move ahead.


I remembered









In the world of gods and demi gods. In a society of advance civilisation, living at the fore front of evolution. At the peak of consciousness awakening in all of the universe, we are just one step shy of total awakening. I am the captain of the elite team of protector. Protector for our civilisation, our people and our king.

Today is an extremely joyous day as we reach a new frontier in our evolutionary advancement. We are unveiling our state of the art new fighter spacecraft to the universe. This new spacecraft once merge with a pilot will have the energy capacity of the sun. Imagine the full power of the sun being directed by a single pilot. This will be a showcase of the awesome advancement of our civilisation. I feel so proud to be a part of this.

My moment of blissful thoughts was being jolted to the present moment from a sudden sounding of a messenger. The messenger came forth to inform that our King had called for me.

The interior of the King’s palace is adorn with intricate architecture of gold and silver. The opulence and extravagance of the design and sheer magnitude exudes the sense of awe to all. My¬†King is already at his throne awaiting. I reached before him and kneel in¬†respect to his sacredness.

“Raised Captain, you have been chosen to pilot our newest¬†spacecraft codename GARUDA.” “You are to showcase our pride on our civilisation’s evolutionary advancement to all of the universe.” “Go forth and do me proud, captain.” Said the King.

Then I was brought to the golden chamber hosting GARUDA, it is there shining with great pride. I was touched by the grace of my King bestowing the greatest gift of my life. To merge and pilot GARUDA is the greatest honour that anyone in our land can have. That moment I vowed to protect, serve and do honour for my King, my people and our civilisation with my all of my life and soul.

I places my hand on GARUDA and it opens up a portal for me. I went inside to allow merging to be initiated. Immediately the surged of power going through all of my different levels of body got me totally overwhelmed. The intensity of its potential  is wildly beyond my wildest imagination. My physical, emotional, mental, astral, etheric, celestial and ketheric body went into a power overwhelming state. The merging brought to me the true knowing of the magnitude of real power of the sun. Our merging took the longest while and finally we are ready to showcase the pride of our civilisation. I am ready.

In the speed of light I have surge¬†out of our homeland towards the sun. The sheer mass and power of the sun felt intimidating. But the surge of power within GARUDA is so overwhelming that everything seems¬†possible. We decided to shut down the sun’s light for a fleeting moment to showcase¬†to the universe of our evolutionary advancement. I will gather all the power within GARUDA to stop all of the sun’s light ray for a moment. It took a long moment for me to fully charged up GARUDA and when it hit peak power. We unleashed a thunder bolt of energy so intensely powerful that it¬†stop all of the sun’s ray from shining out. That instance the sun turn pitch black.

It work. A huge sense of honour runs through my body, shining the pride of our civilisation. As celebration of achievement and pride run through my mind, I saw energy cracks appearing in the black sun. This phenomenon does not look right. My eyes are wide open as the sun exploded. The explosion is so loud that I am deaf to it. The explosion is so bright that I am blinded to it. Time starts to slow down as I witness the destruction of the sun, the explosion also destroyed the planets around and even my homeland. Everything is destroyed, my homeland, civilisation, people and King. Death is everywhere. As I float motionlessly in space a black hole of guilt, sorrow and hollowness chokes me awake.

Suddenly my eyes are wide open realising that I was awaken from an intense dream.












At a time before homo sapiens and at a place where there is no civilisation. A golden pyramid with the Eye of Horus stand witnessing the interplay of time and space in front of the great sea of consciousness. Lying beneath the depth of darkness lies a soulful being. A mammal with a powerful gift of communication. An ancient hump back whale. It has been hibernating for the longest of time in the cold dark sea. Time passes ever so slowly and yet aeon have slip by without a hint of awakening from it.

Not only is this mammal in hibernation, the whole planet is in a deep hibernation phase. This planet is so huge¬†that¬†the day and night cycle are¬†many aeons apart. Aeons of night darkness have passed and the light of the day is approaching. First ray of light diluted the pitch black darkness slowly towards visibility. Visibility returns to the land and then slowly into¬†the sea. As the first ray of light hit on the¬†whale, its nervous¬†system was firing awakening signals throughout its massive body. It gives out a longest grunt and started twitching its body awake, its eyes slowly open. Then it started to surface itself , guided by¬†the sun’s ray which peeks into¬†the sea.

There is a blazing red kingfisher perching at the top of the pyramid. The red flame surrounding it is burning with deep passion of life. Upon sensing a big shadow ascending towards the surface of the sea, it flew over out of curiosity. Hovering itself high above the big shadow underwater, awaiting to witness something huge.

Meanwhile the whale is gaining acceleration¬†as it ascent towards the surface. It notices a bright burning red spot high up above the water, that piqued it’s curiosity. Nearing the surface of the sea at top speed, it did¬†a powerful¬†flip with¬†it’s massive tail and huge fins. It propel itself out of the sea and breach itself high up into the air, awaiting to witness something huge.

The whale breach so high up that it is a just a moment away from the kingfisher. They were both startle in awe of the magnificent of each other. Their amazing gaze last an eternity of seconds before gravity came to do them apart.

The massive whale fell back into the sea creating an explosion of sea water into this place. The first sound of awakening resonating throughout the aeon of quietness. The first dance of awakening.


The above scene came into mind when I was drawing this. In a symbolic terms it felt like at the transition of awakening, there are 2 primal force in play. Passion and power. The moment these 2 energies start to awake to each others existence. The moment they attract and seduce each other into a dance. The flame of consciousness starts to dance into life.






Night Traveller


Ever walk into an unknown dark room feeling your way for a light switch?

The fear of the unknown.

The fear of sensing what that may be lurking in that darkness.

In the time between walking into the dark room till one finds the light switch is a journey through darkness.

Every thing that we graze past or hit upon during the darkness may scare the shit out of us for a split second or more.

Every new sensation that hit upon us, be it a fluffy teddy bear or steel cold furniture gives us an initial creepy feeling. Evoking our emotion of fear. The seed of fear can grow pretty fast, is it a thing that touches me or is it a living thing that touches me or worse is it a non living being that touches me. Our mind will go into a fear overdrive mode making us scream in silence or shout out in pure fear. Our body may freeze into immobility or sprint into a flight mode jolting out of that dark room.

We may even closed our eyes and play dead in the hope of stopping our fear.


Is our life’s journey not in a way a journey through the¬†dark room?

We all want control of the future which we had no real control. Clenching our fist in a dark room may be a way to soothes our fear for what is to come.

It is a way we think it may help us to control our fear or control the future.  But it actually hardens and numb our senses to experience what is to come, hence tricking ourself to believe that we are in control.

We trick ourself to believe that we have powers to control the outcome. Wanting to control our future is really an expression of our fear of the unknown. It may be the greatest trick that one play on oneself. As one try to believe that they can truly control, which there is none. Their approach is through numbing themselves of their senses and living in the moment not present. They starts to become zombies of life, not being able to experience the present moment.


I started growing¬†a pot of sweet potatoes last year. I bought good soil, big pot, good water and good care for¬†it. It grew up beautifully, gracing my big pot to look like a bountiful garden. I continue on my good work in the hope to maintain this beautiful sight.¬†But then it fall prey to some parasites late last year. I tried to control the situation but to no avail. To my horror it started dying. I am so sad to realise that I have no power to maintain that beautiful scene.¬†The beautiful sight of my big pot changes to a theme of death. My sweet potato plant turns yellowish and¬†died. I stop putting in any¬†effort of gardening my pot as I surrender to the fact that I can’t maintain it beautifully. Few month past by and something miraculous happen with no effort on my part. The pot was again filled with beautiful plants which I had no idea, what it is. It is definitely not sweet potato plant. ¬†Grace by the power of nature.

Through this episode I realised that I had no real control. Surrendering the thought of control may birth something more amazing. The Cycle of up and down, life and death, happy and sorrow is but the nature of life in motion. Relinquish the desire for outcome, just witness and act from the present moment adds depth to the life story that we are experiencing.


May all soar through darkness in calmness. Embracing the wind of life that gazes through our senses. What will be will be. Enjoy your ride.










Fatal Attraction


Autobiography in five short chapters

1.I walk down the street.

There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.

I fall in.

I am lost … I am helpless.

It isn’t my fault.

It takes me forever to find a way out.


2. I walk down the same street.

There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.

I pretend I don’t see it.

I fall in again.

I can’t believe I am in the same place.

But it isn’t my fault.

It still takes a long time to get out.


3. I walk down the same street.

There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.

I see it is there.

I still fall in … it’s a habit.

My eyes are open.

I know where I am.

It is my fault.

I get out immediately.


4. I walk down the same street.

There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.

I walk around it.


5. I walk down another street.

 poem by Portia Nelson


When I first saw this poem today,

First chapter I smile at his bad luck.

Second chapter I am amuse by how silly he is.

Third chapter I realised he is me.

Fourth chapter I was shock by my earlier amusement of my silliness.

Fifth chapter I contemplate on my habitual patterns in life.

What an awakening.



Creative U turn

Creative U Turn


Met with frustration РHave the courage to move on РSeek for more suitable condition РGaining nourishment РCreative expression РEnjoyment with life. This are the steps to a creative U turn.

In Life there are always challenges. Meeting the challenges directly with no turning back usually¬†kills one’s creativity. Having the courage to move on and seeking for a greener¬†pasture may provide the nourishment needed for expressing one’s creativity. Hence allowing one to enjoy our own creative joy.

Mistakes are part of life and  Courage is the flexible energy that allows infinite possibilities. Mistakes + Courage = Joy of life.

3 Rooster Crowing

3 Rooster crowing


5.30am i was awaken, tired but still decided to go East Cost Park of some morning exercise.

Reached¬†East Cost Park by 6.30am, As i was walking towards the sea, i heard rooster crowing. Turn left, turn right there are no rooster in sight but keep hearing the crowing. Realised that the crowing came from the branches above. It is still a bit dark so i can’t make up what is there.

It is really unusual to see rooster in singapore not to say  East Cost Park. Could it be a speaker tied on the tree? My curiosity got the better of me and i decided to seat below the tree and wait for the sunrise to bring more visibility. The crowing came at intervals and their seems to be more then 1 rooster if my hearing serve me right. As i waiting and focusing on the tree . The crowing started to lead me into a meditative state whereby i felt my charkras reacted to it. It felt like opening of charkra especially the root charkra. As time went by  visibility gets clearer and i saw 3 roosters standing on the branches above crowing away to the sun rise. So surreal is this scene. First time in my life witnessing roosters crowing up on a tree in urbanise Singapore.

That evening as i was walking into the MRT station, i saw a poster with 3 rooster. It is a poster about a drawing competition, tagline “Draw your dreams and win”. What interesting synchronicity!

Phases Of Life

Phases of Life


I was¬†pondering about life and “Phases Of Life” came into mind.

I envision that a little bird is enjoying its freedom in a big cage with plentiful of food. So happy as it is free to roam around the huge cage.

After a long time in that cage, it had eaten much and grown big. Big enough that it is unable to fly around like previously and boredom sets in.

To sustain life, it had to eat and it still continue growing. Grown to a stage that it is stuck in the cage. So stuck and so sad and so painful.

Till one day it manages to breakthrough the cage that is jailing it.

At last he found it’s renewed freedom. Happy like a flying bird.

But then it is still within a cage. And there is bigger cage out there. It there true freedom?

This seems like life challenges. After breaking through a challenge a bigger one await us, till the time when we have grown sufficiently to meet it.

Challenges seems to be constant in life.

Life seems to come in phases of physical, mental¬†and¬†emotional challenges. Foetus, Baby, toddler, young adult, adult, middle age, old age, death are all¬†phases that act like the bird’s cage. The transition from phases have always been challenging. Every phase seems to have one evolving from freedom to boredom to stuck then break through to the next phase. Then the story starts again.

Death maybe the final phase but I have a deep feeling that it may be not. Not to worry, surely I will have this answer by that time. I have to calm myself from the excitement of knowing the inevitable.