Darkness

holy

Night Traveller

 

Ever walk into an unknown dark room feeling your way for a light switch?

The fear of the unknown.

The fear of sensing what that may be lurking in that darkness.

In the time between walking into the dark room till one finds the light switch is a journey through darkness.

Every thing that we graze past or hit upon during the darkness may scare the shit out of us for a split second or more.

Every new sensation that hit upon us, be it a fluffy teddy bear or steel cold furniture gives us an initial creepy feeling. Evoking our emotion of fear. The seed of fear can grow pretty fast, is it a thing that touches me or is it a living thing that touches me or worse is it a non living being that touches me. Our mind will go into a fear overdrive mode making us scream in silence or shout out in pure fear. Our body may freeze into immobility or sprint into a flight mode jolting out of that dark room.

We may even closed our eyes and play dead in the hope of stopping our fear.

 

Is our life’s journey not in a way a journey through the dark room?

We all want control of the future which we had no real control. Clenching our fist in a dark room may be a way to soothes our fear for what is to come.

It is a way we think it may help us to control our fear or control the future.  But it actually hardens and numb our senses to experience what is to come, hence tricking ourself to believe that we are in control.

We trick ourself to believe that we have powers to control the outcome. Wanting to control our future is really an expression of our fear of the unknown. It may be the greatest trick that one play on oneself. As one try to believe that they can truly control, which there is none. Their approach is through numbing themselves of their senses and living in the moment not present. They starts to become zombies of life, not being able to experience the present moment.

 

I started growing a pot of sweet potatoes last year. I bought good soil, big pot, good water and good care for it. It grew up beautifully, gracing my big pot to look like a bountiful garden. I continue on my good work in the hope to maintain this beautiful sight. But then it fall prey to some parasites late last year. I tried to control the situation but to no avail. To my horror it started dying. I am so sad to realise that I have no power to maintain that beautiful scene. The beautiful sight of my big pot changes to a theme of death. My sweet potato plant turns yellowish and died. I stop putting in any effort of gardening my pot as I surrender to the fact that I can’t maintain it beautifully. Few month past by and something miraculous happen with no effort on my part. The pot was again filled with beautiful plants which I had no idea, what it is. It is definitely not sweet potato plant.  Grace by the power of nature.

Through this episode I realised that I had no real control. Surrendering the thought of control may birth something more amazing. The Cycle of up and down, life and death, happy and sorrow is but the nature of life in motion. Relinquish the desire for outcome, just witness and act from the present moment adds depth to the life story that we are experiencing.

 

May all soar through darkness in calmness. Embracing the wind of life that gazes through our senses. What will be will be. Enjoy your ride.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Love

holy

In love

 

The reflection of a fluffy cloud fleeting by a quiet river. Peaceful time gently floating by the lush green pastures. Cooling breeze grazing past everything in it’s path, softly caressing the whisker of a orange cat. So mesmerized by the magnificence of everything that happen at this moment, the cat seems to be in a hypnotic trances of basking in all the awesomeness of being here. This moment felt like love, Divine love. Being consciously present and surrendering to the flow of life seems to allow this divine love tap to channel through. So tastefully loving and divinely exhilarating that all senses are grace with a romantic sense of being in love.

Witnessing this scene during my long walk on a particular day, I felt very thankful to my orange furry teacher for such an experiential moment of teaching on “love is everywhere”. :)

Seeking love externally can only be a balanced journey when one accept, surrender and embrace the love from own self. Seeking love externally when one is not complete with self love will easily sets one on the journey of a love addict.

Breaking the cycle of love addiction requires one to cut off channels of  the addiction and focus on one self. Stop, slow down, be gentle with one self to discover the divine love within one and all. When one finds and allows the divine love tap within to flow, then boredom starts to cease and excitement in life starts to spring from many where. I believe when one acts and embrace one’s true self then one’s divine self love will flow naturally.

Being true to ourself and living on our truth is a never ending journey, as we get more and more in sync with it. We starts to experienced more and more divine love.

Staying in the present moment.

No expectation of results.

Embrace anything that comes our way.

Doing things that you feel like.

Life already had it all sorted out, just be present to experience what is to come.

Good, bad, sad, happy, ugly or beautiful is a melody that life have created for you and you only.

The universal story scripted for yours truly.

Divine love is in motion.

 

There is this recent incident that grace me with a sample of divine love in every moment of life. I particulars hated doing household chores, cleaning oily and dirty wok is top of my hate list. My family is busy with preparing the stuff for a ritual. As my siblings are busy with the cooking and arranging of stuff. I was left with cleaning the oily wok and cooking utensils. First reaction in me was the usual sucking one. Then the thought of “being present” flashes through my mind. I proceed to act accordingly by being present with the cleaning of oily wok. I started to focus on the cleaning, carefully scrubbing all the oily stain one at a time. Intense focus of scrubbing away the soil and oil from the wok sets me into a meditative trances of enjoying the moment. Peaceful time gently flow through this moment and I am enjoying this. Caressing the clean and cool steel wok at the end gives me such a satisfying moment that I feel that it is all so worth it.

I felt in love with the cleaning, with the moment and with myself.

Ah I am falling in love with myself. Loving all my moments of life.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I am

holy

Who am I

 

Who am I?

I am a wizard in the time of great change. The forces of darkness has almost consumed all the light of the land. I am fighting till my last breathe for the sake of protecting the last blade of light that is left of the land. My body is dying, my mental is breaking but the light in my heart is as bright as ever.

 

Who am I?

I am the burning red humming bird that manifested from the dying wizard’s hand. I hold the secret of the light that I have to send out. My sole purpose and mission is to dispatch the secret of the light. I endure all pain, fear and worries flying my way of out the darkest land. That is the sole purpose of my life. An arrow broke through my back and pierced through my heart.

I cannot die, not now. I have to complete my purpose. With the greatest regret my life ended with me failing on the most important mission of the land.

 

Who am I?

I am a maggot feasting on the carcass of a delicious red humming bird. I am so hungry, I need to eat more. I eat and eat till there is nothing more to eat. Then I wait and wait for no food on the horizon till I starved to death.

 

Who am I?

I am the water vapour that evaporated from the slimy remains of a maggot. I float so high in the sky that I became part of a fluffy dark cloud.

 

Who am I?

I am a raindrop from a fluffy dark cloud. I am speeding down the sky at a high speed. Then I hit the ground and was absorb into the land.

 

Who am I?

I am a small plant that was birth by the union of a seed and a drop of water from the sky.

 

Who am I?

I am.

 

 

Grieve

holy

Mourning

 

Grieve is a natural process. Allowing one’s choked heart to unleashed our grieving tears out of us. Where it will become the seed of life.

Sadness is a natural emotion. When it is being suppress due to fear, it will be locked up in our heart. To do that one will have to harden our heart to contain the sadness within. A harden heart create much stuckness and numbness in life. Our heart is central to orchestrating our emotions in life. But when the heart is harden, it will not be able to function properly. And it will not be able to regulate our emotions naturally. Hence one slowly numbified till one is totally stuck. The process seems like a emotionally healthy human being slowly becoming a zombie.

Whenever you realised that you are numb or stuck in life. It may be a good idea to look deeper at your heart. Is it healthy, is it harden or it is holding up much stuck energy? Many times one will not even notice that they are stuck or numb to life. So it is good practice to always feel our self more and allow any sadness to flow through, allowing ourself to experienced that sadness that is meant to be. In allowing our stuck sadness to flow out of our heart containment, we relieve a bit of our numbness. In that act we allow ourself to be a bit more alive. Hence the tears that drain our sadness out from our heart can be seen to be a seed of life. Creating more aliveness in us when it is been unleashed.

Be in sync with nature, experienced all that comes our way is being alive.