Ever walk into an unknown dark room feeling your way for a light switch?
The fear of the unknown.
The fear of sensing what that may be lurking in that darkness.
In the time between walking into the dark room till one finds the light switch is a journey through darkness.
Every thing that we graze past or hit upon during the darkness may scare the shit out of us for a split second or more.
Every new sensation that hit upon us, be it a fluffy teddy bear or steel cold furniture gives us an initial creepy feeling. Evoking our emotion of fear. The seed of fear can grow pretty fast, is it a thing that touches me or is it a living thing that touches me or worse is it a non living being that touches me. Our mind will go into a fear overdrive mode making us scream in silence or shout out in pure fear. Our body may freeze into immobility or sprint into a flight mode jolting out of that dark room.
We may even closed our eyes and play dead in the hope of stopping our fear.
Is our life’s journey not in a way a journey through the dark room?
We all want control of the future which we had no real control. Clenching our fist in a dark room may be a way to soothes our fear for what is to come.
It is a way we think it may help us to control our fear or control the future. But it actually hardens and numb our senses to experience what is to come, hence tricking ourself to believe that we are in control.
We trick ourself to believe that we have powers to control the outcome. Wanting to control our future is really an expression of our fear of the unknown. It may be the greatest trick that one play on oneself. As one try to believe that they can truly control, which there is none. Their approach is through numbing themselves of their senses and living in the moment not present. They starts to become zombies of life, not being able to experience the present moment.
I started growing a pot of sweet potatoes last year. I bought good soil, big pot, good water and good care for it. It grew up beautifully, gracing my big pot to look like a bountiful garden. I continue on my good work in the hope to maintain this beautiful sight. But then it fall prey to some parasites late last year. I tried to control the situation but to no avail. To my horror it started dying. I am so sad to realise that I have no power to maintain that beautiful scene. The beautiful sight of my big pot changes to a theme of death. My sweet potato plant turns yellowish and died. I stop putting in any effort of gardening my pot as I surrender to the fact that I can’t maintain it beautifully. Few month past by and something miraculous happen with no effort on my part. The pot was again filled with beautiful plants which I had no idea, what it is. It is definitely not sweet potato plant. Grace by the power of nature.
Through this episode I realised that I had no real control. Surrendering the thought of control may birth something more amazing. The Cycle of up and down, life and death, happy and sorrow is but the nature of life in motion. Relinquish the desire for outcome, just witness and act from the present moment adds depth to the life story that we are experiencing.
May all soar through darkness in calmness. Embracing the wind of life that gazes through our senses. What will be will be. Enjoy your ride.