Choiceless Choice




So Beautiful a sight.

The grass holding dearly a dew.

Holding as if life depends on it.

Without the dew, there is no bending.

without the dew, life still goes on.

Title: Control?


Inspired by the act of a blade of grass situated at upper seletar reservoir.

The shiny reflection of the morning sun from the water dew held by a blade of grass. That dew is shining with the reflection of the morning sun. It’s seems so precious as if it is the essence of life. That blade of grass seems to be holding that dew dearly as if it’s life depends on it. The grass bend to the weight of it’s precious dew. Hanging on for it’s precious dew. It is not easy but it seems so necessary.

The next moment the dew slide off the grass and the grass suddenly bounce up naturally.  The grass then realised that the dew is an unnecessary baggage but a necessary  lesson.

As in life we hold on to many precious dew that we deem necessary to life. But after losing it or broken by it then we realised the lesson to learn the truth about life. Our life.

The act to hold on to our dew is our way of control. So the lesson we learn is that we have no control.

Choiceless choice.



The Quiet Explosion


Villa Marier


War, battles, conflicts are challenging times to the sides involves and everyone near it. They are the external expression of fear. Internal war, battles and conflicts are as explosive as the external ones.

Villa Marier expresses the dynamics of my inner war. The war between my mask self and my bit of true self. My persona of mask self that was created, reinforce, evolve and strengthen from my start till current days. It have been everything that i was. Its fear of losing ground and relegated to the back seat have make it fight so fiercely and relentlessly. As the truth emerges from the true self, the fear that explodes out of my mask persona is creating such a devastation that my observer was totally damage and blind to the truth.

So much shame and pain were launched from the fearful inner war. Acceptances, compassion and truth have been the way out of these.

Thank god that the truth prevails eventually. 😐

3 Rooster Crowing


3 Rooster crowing


5.30am i was awaken, tired but still decided to go East Cost Park of some morning exercise.

Reached East Cost Park by 6.30am, As i was walking towards the sea, i heard rooster crowing. Turn left, turn right there are no rooster in sight but keep hearing the crowing. Realised that the crowing came from the branches above. It is still a bit dark so i can’t make up what is there.

It is really unusual to see rooster in singapore not to say  East Cost Park. Could it be a speaker tied on the tree? My curiosity got the better of me and i decided to seat below the tree and wait for the sunrise to bring more visibility. The crowing came at intervals and their seems to be more then 1 rooster if my hearing serve me right. As i waiting and focusing on the tree . The crowing started to lead me into a meditative state whereby i felt my charkras reacted to it. It felt like opening of charkra especially the root charkra. As time went by  visibility gets clearer and i saw 3 roosters standing on the branches above crowing away to the sun rise. So surreal is this scene. First time in my life witnessing roosters crowing up on a tree in urbanise Singapore.

That evening as i was walking into the MRT station, i saw a poster with 3 rooster. It is a poster about a drawing competition, tagline “Draw your dreams and win”. What interesting synchronicity!

Phases Of Life


Phases of Life


I was pondering about life and “Phases Of Life” came into mind.

I envision that a little bird is enjoying its freedom in a big cage with plentiful of food. So happy as it is free to roam around the huge cage.

After a long time in that cage, it had eaten much and grown big. Big enough that it is unable to fly around like previously and boredom sets in.

To sustain life, it had to eat and it still continue growing. Grown to a stage that it is stuck in the cage. So stuck and so sad and so painful.

Till one day it manages to breakthrough the cage that is jailing it.

At last he found it’s renewed freedom. Happy like a flying bird.

But then it is still within a cage. And there is bigger cage out there. It there true freedom?

This seems like life challenges. After breaking through a challenge a bigger one await us, till the time when we have grown sufficiently to meet it.

Challenges seems to be constant in life.

Life seems to come in phases of physical, mental and emotional challenges. Foetus, Baby, toddler, young adult, adult, middle age, old age, death are all phases that act like the bird’s cage. The transition from phases have always been challenging. Every phase seems to have one evolving from freedom to boredom to stuck then break through to the next phase. Then the story starts again.

Death maybe the final phase but I have a deep feeling that it may be not. Not to worry, surely I will have this answer by that time. I have to calm myself from the excitement of knowing the inevitable.



Breadth Of Compassion


Breadth Of Compassion


I got to know that I am a breech baby at birth not long ago. First thought was that this is cool especially when my mum had me in an easy breech delivery. In the Chinese saying it is called lotus birth. The word lotus had me thinking about the bodhisattva GuanYin. I had quite an affiliation with her, since young my parents have place me as an adopted child with her. It is a taoist practice.

Well I was thinking about Guanyin and started googling about her story. In one story about how her 1000 arms came about attracted my attention.

Guanyin and the Thousand Arms

One Buddhist legend from the Complete Tale of Guanyin and the Southern Seas (Chinese: 南海觀音全撰; pinyin: Nánhǎi Guānyīn Quánzhuàn) presents Guanyin as vowing to never rest until she had freed all sentient beings from the samsara or reincarnation. Despite strenuous effort, she realised that there were still many unhappy beings yet to be saved. After struggling to comprehend the needs of so many, her head split into eleven pieces. The buddha Amitabha, upon seeing her plight, gave her eleven heads to help her hear the cries of those who are suffering. Upon hearing these cries and comprehending them, Avalokitesvara attempted to reach out to all those who needed aid, but found that her two arms shattered into pieces. Once more, Amitabha came to her aid and appointed her a thousand arms to let her reach out to those in need. Many Himalayan versions of the tale include eight arms with which Avalokitesvara skillfully upholds the Dharma, each possessing its own particular implement, while more Chinese-specific versions give varying accounts of this number.

In China, it is said that fishermen used to pray to her to ensure safe voyages. The titles Guanyin of the Southern Ocean (南海觀音) and “Guanyin (of/on) the Island” stem from this tradition.

-quoted from wikipedia

Her story touches me and I felt that her compassion is beyond the breadth of my comprehension. So much so that I felt her immense love and magnitude of compassion that encompasses far and wide towards all living beings. My vision of her in her loving kindness shinning her holy light of 1000 arms reaching all beings. And all beings so enchanted by her compassion, all stand in awe as time stop for that minute.