I have always been fearful of death. My own death. Every time when I started thinking of that moment when I die, I will be so petrified by my avalanche of fear that my physical mind will kick me out of that thought. Thinking as if not thinking will be changing something. Why am I so fearful? Is it the decomposing of my physical body? Or the burning of it?
我一直在害怕死亡. 我自己的死亡. 每当我开始想起我死的那一刻,恐惧会将我这思想踢出我脑袋.好像不想就会没这事. 为什么我这么害怕? 是因为死了我的身体的分解吗? 或者是害怕它的燃烧?
When I die. When my physical body have been burnt into ashes. I will become a void to the world. If I still witness the world moving on and I am a void witnessing the world moving on. This felt like an eternal jail of observing without participation. This is a scary thought. Isn’t this like eternal hell? Fear of death is fear of being here but not being here.
当我死了. 当我的身体被烧毁成灰烬时. 我会成为一个空白. 如果我还见证着世界的运行,没有身体而见证着世界的运行.这感觉就像没有参与只观察的一个永恒的监狱. 这是一个可怕的想法. 这不是像永久的地狱吗? 对死亡的恐惧似乎是害怕不在这里，但被锁在这里.
A friend’s recent passing has brought this topic to my mind.
最近一个朋友的往生又把这问题带来我的脑海.
Lying on bed and pondering over death. What is death?
躺在床上，琢磨死亡这问题.
Looking at the clock beside and the time is 9am. My consciousness started peeking behind my fear. Thinking, asking and hoping to get clarity about death.
看着旁边的时钟,时间是上午9点. 我的意识开始勇敢的看着我的恐惧. 想了解想知道死亡的真相.
Next moment I was consciously doing something else in another world. I am identified with my persona then doing my stuff in that world of mine.
下一刻，我有意识地在另一个世界做别的事情. 我确定当时的我在我的那个世界做我的东西.
Suddenly I awoke from my dream. I turn my head and saw the time is 9.30am. I am conscious of me (JT) falling into dreamland. I am conscious of me in another persona (DT) in the dreamland. And I am now conscious of me coming back into my persona (JT) here.
突然，我从梦中惊醒. 我看到的时间是上午9:30. 我意识到我（ JT）落入梦乡. 我意识到我在梦境另一个角色（DT ）. 而我现在意识到我回来了我的角色（ JT）这里.
It is as if my consciousness travel without skipping a beat from JT to DT and back to JT. When I was DT I do not remember JT and when I am JT I vaguely remember DT.
这是仿佛是我的意识从JT跳过去到DT和从DT回跳过去到JT。当我是DT时我不记得JT，当我是JT时我依稀记不得DT.
A sudden knowing jolt me into excitement. Hey isn’t this the truth of death.
突然一股无名的兴奋勇上心头.这不就是死亡真相吗.
When I am DT, I only remember story of DT. When I am JT, I only remember story of JT. It is as if I am the consciousness that travel through worlds and assuming different persona of bodies experiencing that world.
当我是DT时 ，我只记得DT的故事. 当我是JT时 ，我也只记得JT的故事. 这好像是我的意识，穿梭于不同的世界旅行和承担不同的角色体验不同的世界.
The line where dream becomes wake land or wake land becomes dream land is the line of death.
在DT的现实世界于JT的现实世界之间的那条线不就是死亡线.
A line where consciousness slip from one side to another side. So graceful so easy so automatic.
一条我意识穿梭于不同世界不同的角色的线. 那么容易因那么简单.
Hey if this is death I am not afraid anymore. Something is lifted in me. My baggage of fearing death may have been enlightened and relieve in a certain sense.
如果这是死，我不怕了. 害怕死亡的感觉已减少了，并在一定意义上缓解了.
A sudden joy came into me. I felt that this conscious experience has gifted me a different eye about death.
突然有一股无名喜悦. 我觉得这个有意识的经历赐予我对死亡不同的看法.
Fearing death is like trapping our consciousness on either side of dream land or wake land when we have not even reaches that line.
担心死亡就像是把我们的意识钉死.
It’s a silly self-created pain trap imagining the line of death is the loss of our consciousness awhile we observe on.
以为死亡带来的是没有身体的意识状态.这是一个愚蠢的自我创造的疼痛陷阱想.
The truth is that we automatically transit our consciousness from one world to another world. From dreamland to wake land or wake land to dream land. This land to other land or to many land.
事实是，我们自动迁移我们的意识从一个世界到另一个世界. 从这个世界到那个世界.
Sometimes knowing and not really remembering. Sometimes not knowing and sometimes knowing it all of what beautiful life we have lead on the other side.
前世的事故有些没有真正记住, 有些完全真正记住, 有些完全没记住.
Our conscious on our dreamland is the conscious of our wake land. It’s the eternal soul that travels through all the magical world of spirit.
我们在梦境的意识也是我们醒时的意识. 我们的意识是我们的灵魂. 穿梭于不同世界不同的角色的大我.
Being fearful of death isn’t it the trap that stop one from living this moment. The real moment is where our consciousness resides.
怕死亡.是一个阻止我们意识活在当下的陷阱. 当下是我们意识的最佳地点.
Living this moment on where the real magic is.
当下是我们意识点石成金的最佳地点.
Death is like waking up to a world and sleeping into another world. Nothing is lost. Consciousness goes on. The physicality of the worlds is gone but only for this moment where our consciousness is on another plane witnessing another magic of that world. Consciousness goes on.
死亡就像是醒来的世界和睡眠时进入了另一个世界. 不会丢失. 我们意识就是我们不灭的灵魂. 之前世界的肉体消失了，但只在这个时刻，我们的意识只是到另一个世界另一个肉体目睹游玩.
The death fear melt away like an ice cream under the burning sun.
死亡的恐惧融化像烈日下的冰淇淋
Love this moment.
喜欢这一刻
Gratitude to divine’s gift of clarity.
感谢神圣的恩典.