I Am Sorry


Ageing is an automatic process of becoming older. A baby turn into a kid in a flash, the kid turn into a young adult in a moment, the young adult turn into an old adult in while. When we are younger there is always a want to grow up faster but when one is an adult we hope that time can slow down or reversed.

Eventually when a kid turns into an adult, their parent will turn into an old adult. The process of witnessing our parents turning into an old adult is quite a traumatic process. Witnessing and accompanying them by their journey  is really opening one up to our mixed emotions of our own journey ahead. Deteriorating health and well being is usually part of this ageing process. Parents whom once we look up for safety, support and everything else as a kid is an image of a giant caretaker for us.  When we witness our giant crumble down at the mercy of health issue reducing them to a frighten and helpless stage of a baby. The kid part in us starts to be shaken and fears sets in. The giant caretaker for our kid has crumble and the kid is left feeling vulnerable and alone.

Another fear that is set in motion is the part in us that fears suffering and death. In seeing the state of suffering of our parent, we are reminded of a reality of life that we are ageing towards. Awhile journeying with our parents through their ageing process.  We are crippled by these overwhelming fear and at the same time we want to stand tall like a giant for them at time like this. This duality of brave and fear fronting our system is a really interesting mixed. We can be brave and fearful at the same time is really about a kind of love. We soldier on even when facing with our huge fear so that we can be the giant that they need in time like this for their kid part. A kind of love that are shared between child and parent.

May all suffer less or never.



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