Month: February 2015

Ocean of Compassion

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Strength Of Compassion

 

Journeying with compassion is like sailing through an ocean. Sometimes it is plain and peaceful, many other times it can be stormy and traumatic. To take care of others feelings and vulnerability with utmost politeness and sensitivity so as not to trigger them is one kind of compassion. I call this soft compassion. Being compassionate can many a times also trigger the other’s vulnerability. With clarity and wisdom this is a necessary evil.

Imagine a young child whom is curious about sticking his/her fingers into the edge of a door. One can understand that the young child maybe unable to comprehend the danger of this act. For the sake of the young child learning it the hard and dangerous way, one need to warn him/her. Children as children, they are always fearless in exploring the world. One may need to discipline them in a stronger way so as it will instil fear of their possibly dangerous act. This process may trigger fear and pain in the child but this is also out of compassion. Delivering this compassion may require firm and hard stances. I call this hard compassion.

Soft and hard delivery of compassion is the duality of approaching the ocean of compassion. The art of the types of delivery for that moment is usually based on the clarity, wisdom and strength of the giver. In the drawing where the Goddess of Mercy is sailing through the ocean. Above the water it is just her pure compassionate light and clarity. Below the water is her strength and wisdom symbolises by her dragon. With all these elements she is able to sail through the vast ocean under all weather condition emanating compassion. Hence journey on compassion is never easy, but through the journey one is being groom on clarity, wisdom and strength.

A recent experience of being a caretaker of a suffering immobile love ones  brought me through the journey of sailing from soft compassion to hard compassion. The transition from the plain quiet sea to the raging stormy ocean of compassion certainly tested my limits and breaking down at times. As a giver of compassion and caretaker of the suffering the first compassion have to be to ourself. When the stress is too much, stop, slow down and ground ourself to regain our clarity.

Always be compassionate to ourself when we are unable to journey through. It is okay to stop first to regain our bearing and only when we are ready then move on. The compassionate journey always starts from ourself. Through the journey our clarity, wisdom and strength will be groom and chiseled to emanate more in the journey of compassion.

Love yourself. 🙂

 

Survival

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primal showdown

 

Yesterday evening I  pack a wonderfully done cheesy mushroom omelette to a reservoir as dinner. When I reach, the sunset is so beautiful that I had to take a photo of it. I placed my dinner bag on a bench and started to take sunset shots. Suddenly I heard someone searching through my bag holding my dinner. I turn and saw a alpha male macaque. I immediately jolt forward to snatch back my dinner. The macaque was shock for a split second and started growling and charge towards me for its dinner.

I swing my bag to whack it away. It  evaded my attack and retreated. I give chase to scare it away but after retreating near its macaque gang. It turn around and charged towards me again. I had to swing my bag violently at it to halt its move.

Then it stop to hold its ground and glare menacingly at me. We are merely a meter apart.  That intense moment kind of triggered my fight or flight response. No compassion nothing, it is just about survival. I held my ground and started glaring menacingly back at it all ready to deliver a deadly punch at it, should it pounce on me.  Our stare lasted for the longest 2 seconds. Then I turn berserk and did a huge primal roar and lunging a step forward at the same time.

This time it retreated back to the safety of the nearest bushes in double quick time. My guess is that my acoustic display of superiority have shook some sense into it. Animal survival 101 – never fight 1 to 1 with a bigger animal. A sense of primal victory came over me but that did not last more then 10 seconds because it’s gang of macaque are closing in on me. Realising that I am awfully outnumbered, I took refuge in my car and had my dinner in it. I wasn’t that hungry but I ate every last bit of my cheesy mushroom omelette. It is my winning in my primal fight with a primate. ROAR…… 😛

Looking back this unusually perilous happening seems rather symbolic.

It is about survival and lucky thing is that I won but having to hide my winning from fear of losing it.

Stay & deepen …….

Convergences

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converging dragons

Easy times attracts easiness and tough times attracts dragons. A dragon is already quite a handful but when you see more then one converging towards you. Good luck.

There is always a treasure that a dragon is guarding and they will be aggressively protecting it. So in seeing that the dragons are converging towards you, you must be near the treasure that they are guarding. For one to see converging dragons, one must be on a path towards a great treasure. When one is ready for the quest, one will see it.

To be able to slay the dragons means you have overcome your fear of it and gain the courage on your treasure.

To be defeated by the dragons means that one is still not ready for the treasure yet.

Good Luck 🙂

 

Breathlessness

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clouded

 

Breathlessness – a state where one cannot breath properly. Every breath takes about 2-4 seconds. As long as one is alive our breath powers on every 2- 4 seconds, 24 by 7. Our breath only off day is when one ceases to live, a perpetual off day. Hence our breath is intimately link to our survival. A lack of breathe or breathlessness is really like a dance with Death itself. Living being that is so used to living is never a willing dance partner with Death. This dance is often lace with immense pain, fear and suffering. The dancing ground is usually near the gate of afterlife.

The physical engine that powers our breathe is our heart. Being in our physical realm our heart has an expiry date. A date that it starts deteriorating. According to a doctor, if one’s heart function drop to below 20% the risk of it stalling is very high. On top of that sufferer will be experiencing breathlessness throughout until the heart function manage to go beyond the 20% or the heart stalls. Usually when there is a way, a remedy or a cure for this suffering then it seems reasonable that the sufferer goes through the suffering for the possible salvation. But when there is no possible cure, the suffering for the sufferer to go through till his final moment is a cruelly sad period.

A sufferer in this instance is usually overwhelm by their suffering that they ask for an instant death. For a living being to ask for instant death, their suffering must have crushed their living ego to bits.

As a caretaker of the sufferer. When being plead by the sufferer on ending their suffering life, it is an unusually difficult moment. A moment when a portion of the suffering is being transferred to the  caretaker. In honoring the truth of the sufferer and himself. In honoring the fact of life and death. In honoring this difficult final phase that the caretaker is journeying with the sufferer. The caretaker can only be as present as he can to assist in whatever that the sufferer may need in his dance with death.

A sudden breathlessness consumes me, my denial on impermanence may be giving way.

 

 

Habit

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Fatal Attraction

 

Autobiography in five short chapters

1.I walk down the street.

There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.

I fall in.

I am lost … I am helpless.

It isn’t my fault.

It takes me forever to find a way out.

 

2. I walk down the same street.

There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.

I pretend I don’t see it.

I fall in again.

I can’t believe I am in the same place.

But it isn’t my fault.

It still takes a long time to get out.

 

3. I walk down the same street.

There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.

I see it is there.

I still fall in … it’s a habit.

My eyes are open.

I know where I am.

It is my fault.

I get out immediately.

 

4. I walk down the same street.

There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.

I walk around it.

 

5. I walk down another street.

 – poem by Portia Nelson

 

When I first saw this poem today,

First chapter I smile at his bad luck.

Second chapter I am amuse by how silly he is.

Third chapter I realised he is me.

Fourth chapter I was shock by my earlier amusement of my silliness.

Fifth chapter I contemplate on my habitual patterns in life.

What an awakening.